A Letter to the Girl Who’s Afraid She Lost Her Purity

To the one who’s suffocating with guilt because you failed again…you clicked on that image, read that book, or went too far in that relationship…

Sweet friend, this is for you.

Dear soul, whatever you did in the past, whatever sin is crushing you now, listen up:

Your purity is not lost.

Purity.pngYour enemy wants you to believe you’ve ruined your life. He loves feeding you the lie that your purity is trashed. That you’ve maxed out God’s grace.

But do not give him the satisfaction of tearing you down. Because you know what, friend? You’re not powerful enough to change God’s love for you. No failure of yours can rid the cross of its power.

“And you…God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross”(Colossians 2:13b-14, ESV).

I’ve felt the shame and discouragement you’re going through. I know what it feels like to think God can’t use you anymore. And that’s why I desperately want you to understand these truths from Scripture. Please, cling to them…

1) Your purity does not depend on your actions.

Purity is a matter of the heart (Psalm 19:9), and when you’ve been redeemed by Jesus, no one can change your righteous standing with Him. He died to cleanse your heart. It’s pure because He says it is.

Yes, sexual sin is wrong, and the consequences hurt. Physical purity will always be a fight, and sometimes you’ll lose. But take heart: No matter what sin you commit, your heart can be renewed if you’re His child.

2) You can’t make yourself pure or impure.

Purity comes from Jesus alone.

Yes, you can (and SHOULD) do right. You can live morally. But that doesn’t make you pure. In the same way, if you fall into sin, you’re not suddenly ruined. The cross would be pointless if that were the case.
Purity is not an actions-based title. It’s a permanent state of being.

Remember the adulterous woman in John 8? What did Jesus tell her after He had called off the Pharisees from stoning her? When she stood, pitiful and humiliated, staring at Him in fear, look what happened…

 “Jesus stood up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She said ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more’” (John 8:10-11, ESV). 

Neither do I condemn you…

This woman had been caught cheating on her husband. She was the last thing from “pure” according to any human standards. In fact, she was deemed worthy of death for her promiscuity. But what did Jesus say? “I do not condemn you.”

This woman was declared pure by Jesus. Not because she acted pure, but because He chose to cleanse her. Purity is a gift that He wants to pour out on every fallen heart, and once He does, even the strongest demon cannot rip us away from His love (Romans 8:38-39).

At the end of that passage, Jesus told the woman to go and sin no more. But He wasn’t implying she had to be perfect. He was simply empowering her to start again. He set her free from the guilt of this failure.

Then he adds, ‘I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.’ …let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:17, 22-23, ESV).”

When you have Jesus on your side, you don’t have to fear condemnation. Because Perfect Love casts out fear (1 John 4:8), and Jesus IS your Perfect Love. He loves you, and He isn’t hanging a curse over your head.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin  for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21, NIV).

HE is your righteousness. HE is your sanctification. HE is your hope when Satan kicks you down. No matter how dirty you feel, God sees Jesus when He looks at you. That’s a pretty incredible truth, don’t you think? Hold onto it. Your purity is not lost. Your Father still loves you. It’s not too late to start again.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God,and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10, NIV).

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8, NIV).


For extra encouragement, give these songs a listen. They’re so dear to my heart and I promise they’ll lift your spirits. ❤


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