I’m new to this whole dating thing.
My boyfriend, Caleb, and I have only been dating a mere five months. Before that, I had always been single. So, when he and I started going out, I wondered how I could be a good girlfriend. After all, I had zero experience in that area.
So, I did two things:
1) I looked in the Bible for girlfriend advice
2) I looked on Pinterest for girlfriend advice 😛
Confession: At first I was able to find a whole lot more of girlfriend advice on Pinterest than I could in the Bible.
There isn’t exactly a “Dating Chapter” in the Bible. There isn’t a section saying “Thou shalt do ABC on a date and thou shalt not do XYZ.” In fact, the word “dating” isn’t mentioned in the Bible at all.
Great. How then will I know how to be a godly girlfriend? I wondered.
One day, a month or so after Caleb and I started dating, the Holy Spirit brought a Bible passage to my mind that I had memorized when I was 12.
I slowly began to quote it to myself, and I realized that here is the passage I’d been looking for! Here is a passage about how to date in a godly way!
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV).
Sure, this passage isn’t limited to merely dating relationships. It can be a plumb line for a mother-daughter relationship, a friendship, a boss-employ relationship. But I think it also can and should relate to dating as well.
So if you’ve been wondering what Christian dating should look like or how you can be a godly girlfriend, here’s a great guide!
Believe me, I don’t have this girlfriend thing figured out and I need Biblical advice as much as the next girl. So, I want to walk through this passage with you, with the hopes that we can both learn something from it 🙂
Let’s dive right in…
1) Be patient.
With him and with yourself.
2) Be kind.
Treat him with respect. Be kind.
3) Don’t envy.
Don’t envy other people’s relationships if they’re “farther along” than you and your boyfriend. Additionally, don’t envy when your boyfriend spends time with his other friends.
4) Don’t boast.
Don’t brag about your relationship, rubbing it in other people’s faces. Be gracious. Yes, it’s okay to feel excited about dating and want to post a picture on Instagram every now and then, but don’t be boastful about it. Watch your attitude 🙂
5) Don’t be proud.
“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble'” (James 4:6, NIV).
6) Don’t dishonor him.
As in, don’t say negative things about your boyfriend. If he makes you mad, pray about it instead of venting to your best friend about it. Paint him in a good light, whenever you can. This can be so hard to do, but think about it.
If you’re mad at your boyfriend and then vent to a friend about it, you could get your friend mad at him too (especially if she’s a good friend and has your best interests at heart). But, whenever you move on and forgive your boyfriend and he and you work out whatever issue was going on, your friend won’t be a part of that conversation. So, she may stay bitter towards him about something that you and he resolved!
Thus, I think it is wise to share positive things with our friends. (Don’t go over the top though, see #4.)
It is important to ask for wisdom. If you’re sharing a negative situation with someone with the intention to learn how to fix it, that’s different. But if you’re just annoyed and venting, that won’t help anybody.
Turn to God in those situations and vent to Him 🙂
7) Don’t be self-seeking.
Put his needs before your own. Figure out his love-language. How can you best show him you care?
Hey y’all! I’m a 21 year old college senior studying Spanish education. I had been single my whole life before my boyfriend Caleb asked me out. So, I know the struggles and up and downs of singleness and strive to encourage other singles to be content in Jesus during this season on my blog, Joy Because Grace.
When I’m not blogging, I enjoy watching Disney movies, reading the Harry Potter books, and babysitting.
More than anything, I love Jesus and strive to grow closer to Him. I can’t wait to see how He continues to work in my life. 🙂
To read the second part of this post, click here! I hope this little sequal helps you in your dating or courting relationship, or, if you’re single, helps you prepare for a relationship in the future.